Long, Retarded Rant (please ignore)

Today is one of those days...
It's snowing, I'm in love, and maybe I deserve to feel happy for once, but I'm really, really upset.

Perhaps it's the fact that I have a crush on three girls at once, or perhaps it's because I look bad and can't ever afford to buy the kind of clothes that I've planned to dress in, or perhaps it's because I can never be that relaxed, kind, social guy I want to be, or...

I think I'll take a personality quiz. Most only ever say good things about you. The ones that criticize you enough never get popular.

It's true, isn't it?

Hmmm...

I would like very much to scream something to the world and give my ideas all the attention they could ever wish for. I would like to be able to write my own Story, without anything ever interfering with my plans... play God for a day, though I'm sure I wouldn't be fit for the job even for such a time...

It's like the 90's, right? Gen X, Nirvana, burning out...

I would like to burn out. Perhaps I'll be remembered for saying "The world is beautiful" at the end of a tragic life... the irony!

But perhaps happiness is the most important thing.

Just chemicals swirling in your brain... dopamine and endorphins? Are we all just little wind-up bunnies programmed to feed our desires and prosper? Perhaps. But it doesn't matter... I would like to be happy, to make others happy (how foolish, when we only get so long to enjoy ourselves)...

Taoism is a nice philosophy, though I don't quite understand all of it.

A boy at our school has disappeared. I hope to God he hasn't killed himself. I would like to tell him how much I miss him when he gets back, if he ever does...

I would like to be bisexual.

Sometimes I don't even know what I'm talking about.

And perhaps I've ranted enough now. I can't seem to make myself feel any better, nor can I write at all today. It's coming out very forced and cheesy, like a bad teen novel full of male Mary-Sue vampires...

And I'm too lazy to post a drawing today, or even a picture of Kurt.

Maybe I'll be somebody someday.