Premature aging? Stress?

I'm half serious, too... Just the other day, I couldn't spell therefor or rythm and I wasn't sure whether to say "skeptical of" or "skeptical to." And then it takes me forever to remember what we're learning in history or stuff...

Anyway, I should really teach a class on how to be invincible, you know? "Today, we shall learn the glories of lying down!" or "The ethics of rock-throwing!" or... just kidding. :P
But wouldn't that be nice? I think the whole world should learn to chillax a bit.

I've got a girlfriend, and then I've got mom and dad, and then I've got the rest of the world all to myself... how wonderful...

Senile dementia.

I think it's a mouse.

There's a strange scratching sound from the right wall of my basement. You can hear it from upstairs.

Sleepless nights and parasitic butterflies.

It's raining! The drought has ended! My tomatoes are saved! Rejoice!
Just before lunch, I opened up the windows and back door to hear the rain, but my sister closed them because she thought it was too humid.

Summer nights can be just as sleepless as school nights.

Some nights, I start thinking about every breath I take, and I wonder if my breathing is perhaps too shallow.
I try taking a few deep breaths, but I'm afraid I'll hyperventilate.
Is it my inhaler? Is 4 times a day too much? Is it not enough?
What if I stop breathing altogether after I fall asleep?
I hold my breath. 30 seconds? Why am I not panting?

I usually stay up until 2 or 3,
at which point I'm too tired to worry about dying anymore.

I've been breathing fine lately.
Last night, I stayed up until 2, trying to think of a story for the first mission of a gothic role-playing game I've just started running.
How about a man whose obsession with hands leads him to cut off the hands of everyone in his neighborhood and hide them in his refrigerator? Maybe a story about human-soul-butterflies that eat flesh and a pale girl without genitals would be better. Maybe it could be about a mute, feral girl who is trapped in a house of flesh-eating butterflies that like human hands. Maybe the party should save her from the house, only to have her burn to death in the rising sun. But how would they kill the hordes of butterflies?

This is all stupid.
I figured I'd do it tomorrow morning.

I dreamed about a lonely carnival at 4 AM and Sigur Ros.
My friend made my sister cry, and I screamed at him and started crying as well. All three of us were crying when my mom came to get us.
I headed to the bathroom, and it was like an airport, and nobody was there.
I looked in the mirror.
I thought my hair almost made me look like a schizophrenic.

Shots, an apology, and a haircut.

Yin and yang:

I got my shots today, and it wasn't bad at all.
In the moments leading up to it, I noticed that the wallpaper had something on it about friends,
but I ended up closing my eyes for the duration of the shots.
Then we had to poo in buckets.

Someone really awesome apologized today for something hurtful a chillion years ago.
It's really odd, her bringing up the past and all.
I guess I'm happy, but...
Don't do guilt!
Live for the moment!

I need a haircut.

Couldn't sleep last night...

A young girl is left home alone with only her dog to protect her. When night approaches, she locks all the doors and tries to lock all the windows, but one in the basement won't close.
She decides to leave it open, but locks the basement door and goes to bed. Her dog takes its customary place under her bed.
In the deep of night she awakens to a dripping sound coming from the bathroom. The girl is too scared to go check so she reaches her hand under the bed. She feels a reassuring lick from her dog and falls back to sleep. She reawakens to the dripping sound, reaches her hand down to the dog where she feels the reassuring lick and falls back to sleep. Once more, she awakens to the dripping sound. She reaches her hand down and feels the lick of her dog.
Now curious about the dripping sound, she gets up and slowly walks towards the bathroom, the dripping sound getting louder as she approaches. She reaches the bathroom and turns on the light. She is greeted by a horrific sight; hanging from the shower nozzle is her dog with its throat slit open and its blood dripping into the bathtub.
Something on the bathroom mirror catches her eye; she turns around. Written on the bathroom mirror in her dog's blood are the words "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO".

Alright, so I read a few urban legends before bed, but as long as I don't think too much about them, I'll be fine, right?

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."

Shit...I can't think like that. Reverse psychology. The polar bear experiment.

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."

God, I'm praying now, see? God, help me! God, show me you exist....
No answer. Dead or asleep?

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."
Damn,damn,damn.....

A distraction... Happy thoughts...
Two years have passed, and I'm on the bridge. It's winter, but the water hasn't frozen yet, I think. She's there, and I'm still a little upset.
"Do you think I need to change, perhaps? I don't think I'm measuring up... just tell me what I have to change about myself..." Would I? Maybe I'm not actually so selfish.
I wonder what she would say.

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."
Goddammit.........................

I get up. I'll open the door, I suppose. Anna's still up; I can hear her. Careful, step over the side of the bed, don't wanna get licked......

Let there be light! said the Lord to his world.
The door is open now. The light comes in at a funny angle, all the shadows melt. The story seems so silly with the door open, I thought. The lights outside my window are flickering now in front of my closed eyelids like a television set in an empty room.

I'm cold, so I put on my blankets, but then I'm sweating. Repeat for an hour and then I put on my pajama tops.
I don't remember when I fell asleep.