Taiwan

So the plane ride here was pretty lame. I saw a movie about a schizophrenic guy and it made me cry, and my sister threw up more than once. The airport shops at LA were all too expensive, and only one water fountain worked. Then a 9 hour plane ride and Star Trek made the rest of the way there.

It was morning when I arrived.
It wasn't like "I can't believe I'm here! It's incredible!" Maybe I was too tired to care much at all.

The only thing that really stuck out to me there was the talking water fountains and foldable cups.

I have internet connection!

If
I
could
create
aholiday...

I would make it out of home-made masks and gloves and boots and silence!
As soon as the sun sets, you run silently into the silent streets with paper lanterns and cause trouble and spend money-money-money!, cuz if you're really silent, no-bo-dy will know who you are atall!
And then near midnight, you put paper wishes over your lanterns and the heat bloats them up like hot air balloons or lactose intolerant stomachs,
and when the clock strikes 12, you let them go into the forever sky,

and then you make as much noise as you can until your throat is hoarse!

Banano!



And I think I saw Haruhi Suzumiya at McDonald's yesterday, only she had fob glasses.
Mygodsomanythingstowriteabout! but I'm lazy so I won't.

Thunderstorms, talks about God over lunch, a moving sale, and a going-away party.

And then yesterday, at church, my first hug with her! Pulse: 200 MPH! I wanted to keep on hugging for an eternity! Forever!
but it was getting awkward, so let go.

We leave this afternoon.
My heart is a rock that's fallen to the bottom of my stomach. It's not sadness. It's as if I'm sitting in the cockpit of a spaceship on a winter's day.

I feel invincible!


"5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

75% of girls and 100% of guys before their 18th birthday.

Some people I know are bothered by something that's completely normal.
I wish adults would educate us better about these things.

Life is awfully boring now.
I'm done with the letters for everyone,
Still waiting for someone to come back from China.

What else?

I'd like to be a ghost after I die. Like a human one, in a world with a lot more human ghosts. Maybe I could find some non-ghosts and we could talk about the differences between our lives.
"I wonder what it's like to live forever."
"The road trips are the best part."

I will miss America.

Die, die, my darling!

While I've been gone:

Sleepovers, shooting fireworks in the street, shooting fireworks at people, sneaking out, water parks, Truth or Dare, Tetris, Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland, sleepless nights, the smell of nail polish in my sisters' room, skunks on the road, long car trips, visiting the Taiwanese embassy, bourgeoisie McDonalds in downtown DC, shopping at the mall, loud music, this, trashing stuff, closed-minded old people, gross fat people, annoying little kids, a lot more screaming at my annoying, closed-minded parents than usual,
all bouncing around inside my head.

Right about now, life is like one of those weird-looking bugs, stuck between the two layers of glass in your window,
beating itself to death,

Only there are a million of them, and they won't die.

Bags, bags, bags!

Our whole house is quite empty right now, except for big boxes and garbage bags around every corner.
People are making scrapbook pages for us.
I'm worrying my ass off trying to figure out what to give everyone before I leave.

Look at the counter on the bottom of the page. How many days is that? And I don't have a single present yet, except for... what do I call her? I can't get myself to say "girlfriend." Would she be fine with that?
Well, she's got a bag of presents in a color-changing Del Sol bag now, but she's only one of 7? 8?

Never mind! A bag for everyone, I say!
Bags, bags, bags!
A Forever XXI for her, a PacSun for him,
and what about Papaya or WetSeal or Urban Outfitters?
With that 500 dollars I just got from that nice lady, I'm not short on cash,
but 7 people?

God, can you hear me again? Could you lend me some of those God-powers right about now?The Verve is an alright band. Cat Power is great.
And no matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving My Chem.

Summer makes laziness.

3... 2... 1...
SEX PISTOLS!!!!!!!!!!!,
"F the Press, Michael's the best!",
Whattotalkabout?

God answers prayers.
I'm friends with the girl in my art class,
the girl I liked likes me back,
the girl who was upset with me is talking to me again,
and something amazing really did happen: Taiwan...

I'm not so sure what I should do now. Should I try talking to God again? Nothing amazing ever happens when I do, anyway. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Blablablabla.

I've been dreaming about school and tests and that girl in art for four days straight now,
and this boredom is killing me and my writing abilities....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa;lksjdflaksjdfaslkdjf;laskdjfa;lskdjfa;lskdjfa;slkdjf
I wish I could miss people and why can't I ever miss anyone and why don't I ever feel bad for people getting killed on TV? and trying to like someone can be so hard sometimes! and I'm selfish...........................................
The-heat-fries-your-brain-like-a-fried-banananananana...........

Last Plane to London?

Before I leave, I would like to buy a phone, so maybe I can lie on my bed and talk for hours into the night with my friends.

Maybe it'll be still burning up over in my cabin, and the fan would be sighing all night, and in America, it would be a winter morning. I don't have such a good imagination, but just hearing the word "snow" makes you feel so warm. It's funny. Cold things make you feel so warm, but summer makes you think of cicadas and cool nights and bugs by lamps and Taiwanese winters.
I must ask about the ducks, in any case.

What if they make me take off my bracelet at the school?
I guess I wouldn't mind my wish coming true so much, right? I wonder if it still works... the heart came off the green one, so does it still count as the original bracelet?

Wait, I still haven't made a wish on the blue one...
How's "I wish I'll find something super-amazing one day"?
So selfish.
"Because the Pisces must survive, he can be a very determined, even selfish individual."
I don't really believe it, of course, but I'd like to play it safe.
Wishes are horrible things to waste.

Dizzy, dizzy, an afternoon in front of a screen...........................
Envy is when someone makes a better friendship bracelet than you.

5 Years Time

or two?

Fear stuff

I fear a spirit spidermonkey, and rub your ears before bed so the demons can't enter, and never think about aliens without a tin-foil hat...
I fear thoughts coming to life. A serial killer, public urination, a chain of snot.
I'm afraid someone is reading this, but I love the attention, secret admiration,
and it's not good to hide your troubles.
I'm afraid my openness, like God, is dead.

Broken relationships, or not feeling anything from broken relationships,
or feeling guilt for not feeling anything,
but I wish I could tell her I love her and mean it, and maybe after 2 years, everything could be just the way it was before, or better, perhaps...
"It wasn't so hard, after all," we might say, and laugh, on the bridge. Maybe I'll come back during the winter and it'll be the first time I see snow on the water.

Where will the ducks go in the winter, I wonder.

At the bottom of the blog...

there's a counter. Only 55 days until the move. It's taunting me.

So here are the pics from Taiwan ^ - ^

underlined and bold.... Here they are! Taiwan! YAAAAAY!

Staying Up...

Pic completely unrelated...

It's like... 12:56 right now. I'm staying up to do homework, and I'll probably be on for the next two or three hours. School is horrible. We sleep at 12 and wake up at 6 to go work our asses off until bedtime... I'm serious, how the hell am I going to use quadratic equations in my life?

So anyway, this week was perfectly horrible... I'm caving in from the stress again, going back to acting immature, whiny and self-loathing, school-loathing...

God, I can't wait until we move to Taiwan. I'll be free there, I'm sure. I can waste the night away at a cafe, and then sleep all afternoon to the sound of that hurricane shit that floods the cities every summer...

I'll be so happy. I'll leave my best friend, and this girl I really, really love, who loves me as well, but perhaps it'll all work out. I just want to escape from the stress and choking mediocrity and pointlessness of my current life...

Maybe I'll post a pic of Taiwan I took over the summer or something if I have the time...