Read this.

A slice-of-life about Jesus and Buddha sharing an apartment in modern Japan. Read it here.

Couldn't sleep last night...

A young girl is left home alone with only her dog to protect her. When night approaches, she locks all the doors and tries to lock all the windows, but one in the basement won't close.
She decides to leave it open, but locks the basement door and goes to bed. Her dog takes its customary place under her bed.
In the deep of night she awakens to a dripping sound coming from the bathroom. The girl is too scared to go check so she reaches her hand under the bed. She feels a reassuring lick from her dog and falls back to sleep. She reawakens to the dripping sound, reaches her hand down to the dog where she feels the reassuring lick and falls back to sleep. Once more, she awakens to the dripping sound. She reaches her hand down and feels the lick of her dog.
Now curious about the dripping sound, she gets up and slowly walks towards the bathroom, the dripping sound getting louder as she approaches. She reaches the bathroom and turns on the light. She is greeted by a horrific sight; hanging from the shower nozzle is her dog with its throat slit open and its blood dripping into the bathtub.
Something on the bathroom mirror catches her eye; she turns around. Written on the bathroom mirror in her dog's blood are the words "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO".

Alright, so I read a few urban legends before bed, but as long as I don't think too much about them, I'll be fine, right?

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."

Shit...I can't think like that. Reverse psychology. The polar bear experiment.

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."

God, I'm praying now, see? God, help me! God, show me you exist....
No answer. Dead or asleep?

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."
Damn,damn,damn.....

A distraction... Happy thoughts...
Two years have passed, and I'm on the bridge. It's winter, but the water hasn't frozen yet, I think. She's there, and I'm still a little upset.
"Do you think I need to change, perhaps? I don't think I'm measuring up... just tell me what I have to change about myself..." Would I? Maybe I'm not actually so selfish.
I wonder what she would say.

"HUMANS CAN LICK TOO."
Goddammit.........................

I get up. I'll open the door, I suppose. Anna's still up; I can hear her. Careful, step over the side of the bed, don't wanna get licked......

Let there be light! said the Lord to his world.
The door is open now. The light comes in at a funny angle, all the shadows melt. The story seems so silly with the door open, I thought. The lights outside my window are flickering now in front of my closed eyelids like a television set in an empty room.

I'm cold, so I put on my blankets, but then I'm sweating. Repeat for an hour and then I put on my pajama tops.
I don't remember when I fell asleep.

Oh, my first comment...

All of a sudden, this feels like whining now, not writing...

But I shouldn't say that... some people are guilt-stricken so easily...

me, definitely.
I'll keep writing.

Like...
Today I read the story of Samson, and I was expecting to cry, and I did.
I mean, the angel came and told his mom, and he was out on the field on a windy day, I imagined, and she called out to her husband, and they were happy...
And the other time, he was pissed like they had no idea, and they burned his wife... He burned their fields.
And he killed a bunch of them, and he was so thirsty and tired afterwards, and perhaps it was the sun shining down on him, no clouds, that made him so tired of having these stupid things happen to him, but then he found water, so it's all good.
And at the end, his eyes were gone, and he braced himself against the pillars, and he was probably upset at himself, and he pulled down the entire temple, and then he won.

And like... I think he found something amazing.
And then I haven't cried in forever. I think I was in love all over again, too.
But it all disappeared just yesterday, and today I still have that empty feeling, bitter brown medicine, empty tires, whateverness.
I wonder if Samson went to Heaven.

5 Years Time

or two?

Fear stuff

I fear a spirit spidermonkey, and rub your ears before bed so the demons can't enter, and never think about aliens without a tin-foil hat...
I fear thoughts coming to life. A serial killer, public urination, a chain of snot.
I'm afraid someone is reading this, but I love the attention, secret admiration,
and it's not good to hide your troubles.
I'm afraid my openness, like God, is dead.

Broken relationships, or not feeling anything from broken relationships,
or feeling guilt for not feeling anything,
but I wish I could tell her I love her and mean it, and maybe after 2 years, everything could be just the way it was before, or better, perhaps...
"It wasn't so hard, after all," we might say, and laugh, on the bridge. Maybe I'll come back during the winter and it'll be the first time I see snow on the water.

Where will the ducks go in the winter, I wonder.

At the bottom of the blog...

there's a counter. Only 55 days until the move. It's taunting me.

Spirit Animals

My friend said I was perhaps a gecko or a mouse or some other small animal, but i want to be a bird, like be free and reckless, small and gentle and flying...
Is it my glasses, perhaps? Does that give off a gecko vibe?
Pisces.