Life (sing, n.):
1. That horribly chaotic time between your birth and your death when you try to discover why everyone exists and how everyone can keep on existing while you simultaneously try to make yourself and everyone else better and happier.
Happiness (sing, n.)
1. Sex, drugs, and everywhere and everyone new and dangerous. (see “partiness”)
2. Surges of electricity that pass from someone you love to you when you come into physical contact with them. May also pass through telephone wires and emails, however weaker. (see “love”)
3. Ramen on a cold day. (see “satellitiness”)
4. When you will not and cannot die until you squeeze something amazing out of life.
Emotions (sing, n.)
1. Shallow, annoying, uncontrollable creatures that show up at all the wrong times and go missing when you need them most.
Art (sing, n.):
1. Lame, supermarket-frozen, concentrated juice of emotions.
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